Sorry. I couldn't think of a better subject heading than that, but the issue of greatness sounds pretentious when ordinary, non-great people write about it.
I was cleaning my closet and came across my old photo album and found a Buffalo News article about my college graduation. New York State Board of Regents chancellor R. Carlos Carballada was the keynote speaker. It's interesting to reflect back on your college graduation from time to time. Greatness...an issue so cliche and pretentious that it's mocked in the film Twilight Saga: Eclipse.
Carballada said, "I ask of you, call of 1993, to prepare your own list of great expectations, for they will determine your future."
More from the Buffalo News:
"He spoke of greatness as something that must be be found in oneself and through G-d, telling them they have no excuses for not influencing their communities.
Quoting Carballada, "You will surely be asked to do something great at the very least by your immediate family and at the very most, by your G-d. And you will not achieve that greatness until you first ask for greatness in yourself."
He also thanked our college for fostering in its students "a commitment to acting ethically...a love of learning and a sense of responsibility to others."
Well, I guess you can predict where this post will go--me describing how I've tried to achieve a measure of greatness, did a few nice and helpful things that fell way short of greatness but were at least ethical and involved G-d.
That's where it all really started, a search for the true G-d. My first goal achieved. I should go back, searching for Hashem, finding Him and the truth of the Torah was a great thing.
I was successful in college, always on the Dean's List, but felt too embarrassed for some reason to attend any of the Honors Convocations. The college would just send me those little "academic excellence" certificates in the mail.
But back to greatness. Greatness in my community? Eh, it depends on who you ask. People who like to be informed about where crimes are happening and who is committing them would say yes. People who think I am giving the community a black eye would say no.
Making a video of anti-Semitic graffiti and sending the video to a television station to expose it? Not great, but at least I achieved a goal made in high school and promised to Hashem. I won't go into it, people already know. All I will say is that it thrust me temporarily into the world of politics beyond the Common Council, which was scary for an introvert like me.
The "greatest" thing I've ever done was in helping the family of a crime victim. The victim's immediate family, a former NYS Assemblyman, and the New York Commission of Investigation are the only people who know what I did and the positive ripple effect it had. Who knew that writing a complaint citing how badly a crime was investigated would make a difference in so many lives?
But there is a lengthy report in which I am only referred to as, "A reporter covering the case." An anonymous reporter at a tiny newspaper, not the Buffalo News or 2,4, or 7.
I alluded to this online once and a guy in my community made a snide remark about Internet access at the psych center. That's the only thing that really bugs me. I don't expect credit for helping someone, but I am not a liar and certainly not crazy. The editor knew the truth but remained silent.
So at the end of the day, did I achieve greatness on any level? No. A measure of decency and helpfulness. That's okay, too.
Materially? I never really wanted much as far as that goes. I adore music! It's in my Italian American blood to love music! I am listening (and singing along to the parts I know) to the Red Army choir singing the USSR national anthem--with headphones. I have it blasting in my ears. Great song to blast! It's incredible. Talk about musical greatness.
So yes, an Ipod is a great form of material wealth to me. So, too, is my electric fireplace. I just ordered another one for my bedroom. Those flames are so beautiful. I love sitting in the dark listening to music next to the fireplace.
Photography! My new digital camera has also brought me tremendous joy.
Interesting--from the time I was a kid I knew I wanted to be a Jew. I had to smile as I was going through all of this college stuff. There's sheet music from the graduation for O Canada!
The first line reads, "...our home and native land." The footnote below reads, "Our own beloved land." I may not have been born in Israel but I do consider it my beloved land, and part of why I send pray requests to the Kotel online. Not to mention why I was disappointed when Aish.com changed the confirmation notice to "your prayer has been received." They've gone back to "your prayer is now in Jerusalem."
Ah, my prayers reached their destination. I don't care what anyone says, praying towards Jerusalem is different. Of course Hashem hears everyone's prayers no matter where the person is but there is something special about Jerusalem. Again, something, somehow, somewhere instilled in me from childhood.
In fifth grade English class I wrote an essay involving a crime, sort of a police blotter type essay. That was my goal, to be a photojournalist. I got side tracked with the nursing degree, but though I am non-practicing, my knowledge has helped family and friends. So that didn't go to waste at all.
Greatness? Nah, but at the end of the day, spiritual fulfillment that grows more and more each day, and a host of minor things.
It's always nice to look back once in a while.
So here I sit on a warm (49-degree) raining afternoon in winter listening to the Soviet National Anthem, writing about the Canadian one, thinking about Jerusalem, about to edit a picture of the American flag I took yesterday and typing a post about my college graduation:)
I truly do march to the beat of my own drummer...and I love it.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Greatness Pretentious
"greatness relies on external validation, it's better to be satisfied with how a day went and how the week went and how the year went"